There are many underlying factors that contribute to the way we respond when interacting with others. Many of these underlying factors stem from our social location. However, there is a portion of these factors that stem from our wounded child triggers. The wounded child trigger refers to situations and experiences that are embedded in our subconscious. These situations and experiences held a negative impact on our development and have carried over into our adult lives by creating a negative connotation to similar reoccurring circumstances. We all have them. Part of the development process of being an adult means we need to embrace them and sort them out.
Whether you grew up the chubby kid, the smelly kid or the nerdy kid we all experienced moments of despair. Most of these moments are correlated with the actions of others we had in our lives while growing up. More importantly we also gain some of our wounded child triggers from the media and the propaganda we’re exposed to. There is that old belief that if you continue to call someone an idiot eventually that individual begins to believe that they are an idiot. Same applies to all these other labels like chubby and nerdy. Those are more apparent as they are said and directed right at us. When you bring the media and culture into the conversation, that changes the dynamics abundantly. Most young girls don’t understand that the models and makeup on tv and in the magazines are just that, made up. They begin to create expectations and ideals of what their body image should look like and how they should act. The same applies for young boys. This also applies outside the realm of appearance and mentality. It can be applied to friends and fitting in. For instance the last kid to get picked every time a group of kids who play basketball together will eventually feel like they aren’t good enough or how they see the first kid that gets picked every time is what they need to strive towards to be accepted.
Think about that young girl at school who has the idea that she needs to be super skinny, wear tons of makeup and dress seductive in order for boys to like her. She will strive to meet those expectations. When she shows up to school and the other kids tell her she is chubby and needs to learn how to do her makeup it will tear her apart. At some point the other girls call her a slut since she wears revealing clothing. Over time those things create a wounded child trigger. Those negative emotions that are often times held in and compressed will be the destruction point later on in her life. That little girl will starve herself to not be called chubby. As an adult she will have built up suppressed emotions that dictate how she lives her life. Every time someone calls her chubby as an adult she will immediately subconsciously default back to her defense mechanisms that were created to help her cope with being called chubby as a kid. She may quit eating again. If she is called chubby her entire life she may develop an eating disorder.
We all have wounded child triggers inside of us. They never go away. They can’t be suppressed, however, if you are willing to be proactive you can get a handle on them. We must first acknowledge the existence of them. Then we have to embrace and accept them. We can’t hide from them and we can’t deny them. They are there. Once we get the understanding of that then we can begin to work on coping with them. How can you tell someone what bothers you if you don’t understand yourself what that is? To many of us respond to wounded child triggers and we don’t even know we are. Mostly since we aren’t aware they even exist.
Start paying attention. You will notice when people do certain things or say certain things it bothers you. Once you figure out what those things are you can dive into the deeper water and uncover where they stem from. Discovery leads us to the work we need to do. The only work we can do is acceptance.
Get out there and grab your wounded child by its neck and squeeze the air out of it. Acceptance is only an option when you are ready to grow and let go. Now that you have that wounded child by its neck you can let it go. By letting go you bring peace and liberation into your existence. Remember we all face these challenges so be mindful of whose wounded child triggers you’re pulling when interacting with people. There is no need to be out there pointing guns at innocent people.
ainthavinit 